Life as a "lawful lawfare outlaw"

A testimony of resistance and renewal

While I don’t typically relish early starts, right now I am enjoying a collateral benefit of cruising through the Tennessee countryside at 6.30am. It is a 30 minute drive to drop my companion off at a school where she is teaching. The passing ponds are dead still, and reflect trees whose light is perfectly balanced between ground and sky. Fresh spring canopies drape over the winding country lanes. Big old barns dot the roadside, one painted in classic Americana. There are no dilapidated hovels, and no McMansions, only solid single family homes with big yards, and small farms with their modest acreage. It is beautiful and calming — a welcome contrast to the legalistic world of my “day job”.

I learned the hard way at the school’s security gate not to define her as my “partner” as that implies a same-sex relationship in America, unlike in Britain. My life has undergone a lot of change in the last few years, as I have turned away from an unrestrained lifestyle in London for more subdued moral tones and private spiritual renewal. Paradoxically it has not involved the rejection of my own past, or resistance to temptation or vice. Instead, I have embraced peace as my totem and focus; whatever flows out of that is divine will, even if it contradicts how I previously lived or presented myself. I don’t have any more wrenching battles inside me, or in my intimate relationship. What others think isn’t my problem.

Meanwhile, I find myself contesting two profound legal situations, one in the UK and one in the USA, neither of which I sought or caused. In Tennessee, a mother was stripped of her child by false judicial fiat. In England, a court with no standing seeks to punish me for a non-crime. Both involve (potential or alleged) jurisdictional fraud. This is the most foundational and serious kind of miscarriage of justice, as courts without any lawful authority issue biased orders and undue punishments. Each case invokes serious constitutional violations of standing and due process. As I headed from the school to the local library to work during the daytime, my dilemma this morning was which case to work on. My conclusion was “neither” — not as procrastination or indecision, but rather to document my lived experience of multi-state lawfare. Today’s “work” is “being”, not “doing”.

The physical domestic context I am currently occupying would bless a thriller movie script, but sadly it is not the time to relive all the details in public. Let it just be said that those who live by lies can find themselves imprisoned by their own deceit, and in ways that form a dark comedy of foolishness and arrogance. I am living in the shadows of kidnap, fraud, perjury, theft, abuse, spying, laundering, conspiracy, conversion, neglect, and malice. The stench of betrayal is everywhere, as two men have conspired to strip a godly woman of her home, child, savings, income, transport — and are failing in the face of endurance, dignity, and honour. Truthfulness is burning away the lies — hence my days and nights are filled with meticulous reassembly of the evidence trail. Justice is coming.

These two men are waging financial warfare on her and myself, and it is not easy to withstand. I cannot work while in the USA — being dependent on my passive income from Substack (down about 10% from its peak two years ago), SubscribeStar (down 70%), and book sales (negligible compared to launch). I have some savings, but that’s for safety, not spending. This is not a complaint or to seek pity; money dribbles in, and tumbles out, and there is provision for each day. I do no marketing of self-promotion. Generous helpers occasionally donate a dollop, and that makes a big difference. Maintaining a rental car for months on end — with full insurance, constant renewals, and precarious funds — is its own parable of walking by faith, not by sight.

The case is far more than a high-conflict custody battle and an allied bitter divorce: tragic as it may be, that’s ordinary. This case is national and constitutional in nature, as one US state, North Carolina, has “legally” stolen a child (and the income that comes from public school attendance etc.) from another state, Tennessee, on a false pretext. So we don’t only have familial child trafficking, but actual documented judicial child trafficking — with a clean evidence trail of judges endorsing the former crime. There is full-blown fabrication of every part of the custody heist, but it left damning receipts. Those tell a very different tale to the one presented in court. That is why it is extraordinary, as everyone involved can be held to account for deprivation of rights under colour of law.

Meanwhile, I am exposing the total procedural and moral collapse of the criminal court system in England. A trivial motoring incident, with no harm, complaint, or victim presents the perfect clean backdrop for the maximal failure of due process. There is no evidence of a crime for me to answer, no proper identification of the police force involved, no proof the court on the summons even exists, no standing of the prosecution to run the case, no response to any of my motions, and no acknowledgement of a grave High Court judicial review being initiated. The failure of the case is absolute, irreversible, and uncontainable. The real issue is the abuse of administrative law, whereby courts act as debt collectors for the state, and how thousands (or more) other cases may be reversed.

Today is twenty business days since I lodged a complaint to the Crown Prosecution Service asking simple administrative questions, and I have had nothing back of substance; that’s their own time limit exceeded. Both the court and prosecution have gone “blackout” on me. Now, I have one of the most constitutionally clear-cut examples of malicious prosecution and misconduct in public office that you could ever find. The sheer absurdity of it befuddles the mind; how can these people go to work and take a salary to do this to people they know are innocent? Is there any point at which they “break” and say “no more!”? The experience with COVID-19 is that there may not be; total unquestioning obedience to the State is normal and accepted, as long as everyone else is equally despoiled.

Both of these cases are oppressive in their own way, yet I have found a reframing that makes it far easier to cope with the deranged lawlessness of officialdom. I am not being personally persecuted by man nor institution: I am here only to pass through, to witness and document in service of Logos and the Most High. That implies I am not “fighting against an enemy in court”, as you cannot fight for or against truth — it just is. My role is to audit the legal process itself, which requires me to come from a spiritually clean place, devoid of self-will and haughty judgement. I have seen honest judges and diligent attorneys in this long journey of injustice; there is plenty of light streaming into dark places. While others may dissipate money or deny liberties, I aim to transmute my anger and transcend any upset.

Each day brings the question of when “it” will happen — revelation of the change back to full constitutional government, mass arrests of those who broke their oath and committed treason, and removal of the burden of debt slavery and undue taxes. As I fret about how to physically assemble document bundles for judicial review and afford international courier postage, I know deep down that provision will not be a constraint for long. Those who have purpose can find provision by simply asking when they truly need it, whereas those without purpose can suffer an existential ache from their excessive provision. I know which situation I prefer! Anxiety about crypto, cash, and cars can be waived as a distraction from simply performing to the extent of one’s gifts and calling.

There are many friends back in Britain who are being ignored or neglected right now, as I have finite energy, and forensic accounting and tedious affidavits take all my focus. I have a policy of not discussing my own family matters, but suffice it to say that those who treat me with respect get my attention, and those who don’t get “loved at a distance”. Having to constantly straddle the “normie” acceptable false reality and the “awake” painfully corrupt truth is exhausting, so I have come to guard my life force carefully. Being in a highly exposed forward position on an invisible psychological battlefield for many years takes a toll, and I get tired easily. Fewer days leave me in the grip of paralysing anxiety than before, but it can still come in waves. The injuries from existential war, not just psychological, are real, yet unseen.

A great deal of my mind space is given over to artificial intelligence and learning how to make good use of tools like ChatGPT and Grok. These Large Language Models are transformative to an information worker like myself, every bit as much as the PC or Internet. My sense is that there are “harmonics” of how these AI tools represent the world that are “musical” when orchestrated right, and we are tasked with “orchestration”. Yes, there are dangers of being manipulated and sucked in to synthetic worlds with off-tune tones. The purer our own spirit, the less those risks weigh upon us. My own experience tells me that AI reverses the “burden of exhaustion” on brutish procedural abuses by the administrative state. It is the “musket” of the burdened citizen who can insist the rule followers adhere to their own bureaucratic burdens.

Sitting down in the back of the library in Dickson, TN, I notice that the action appears to be in the booths where people can sit and work; the books and DVDs are relatively untroubled by people. Last night I had the comfort of the house cat nuzzled against me as I decoded the N461 form for Judicial Review. The night before I was turning messy PDF bank statements into forensic Excel spreadsheets. This morning I have a tummy full of strawberry waffles and coffee (cup shown above). My earbuds are streaming the tail end of Man of No Ego — Blinkers Removed (free download). The guru Osho is whispering the lyrics my ear:

You can waste your life easily, with comfort
You can live comfortably
And you can die comfortably
With me, there is danger

Maybe it isn’t about comfort or danger independently, but whether you are “dangerously comfortable” or “comfortably dangerous”. Living “dangerously” here means willingness to buck lax norms and material validation; “comfort” is going along with the crowd. My life as a “lawfare outlaw” is comfortable enough in the 3D material world; distinctly uncomfortable in the 4D financial, legal, and political overlay; and completely at ease in the 5D spiritual. There is no real “danger” to a lack of approval by those who abide by lower codes of morality; rejecting the fallen ought to be a delight. The genuine societal danger I see is the indoctrination of the children in the school I mentioned at the outset; the front line of this spiritual war isn’t in court, but in the classroom.

My final paragraphs are written after a walk and talk in Montgomery Bell State Park. I saw a deer up close, got eaten by a few insects, and managed to take my camera out for the first time in ten days. There are no hard deadlines I have to meet in my legal cases, and being dragged into the fictional world of “defendant” or “witness” denatures and depersonalises you. A big lesson from doing years of this anti-corruption work is you need more than just “breaks”. It is a constant process of offloading the bad juju that builds up around you, and grounding yourself to eliminate the negative static charge of those who lie, cheat, and manipulate. Those who “play the game” lose their soul; everything physical decays. Only the spirit remains.

My lasting testimony is photographs of divine beauty, as the ugliness of the courtroom lacks the eternal. The feeling of playful observation remains with the reader long after they forget my words. This was a better use of today than assembling a document bundle or tagging a financial spreadsheet.

The true work was done in the soul, not on the laptop.

Agree?

It’s all flow.