When the "enemy inside" is inside one's inside
The moments when we betray our highest self and greater purpose really matter
Over the last few years I have gained a substantial public following and even a bit of a fan base. It is a fact that I have worked hard, applied my skills well, and helped a lot of people as a result. Yet I am human, and I always get to see the totality of myself and my life in way that those in love with the screen avatar do not. There are no dark secrets — my struggles are all ordinary ones of mortal flesh — but it has been a chastening experience of gaining fame at a small scale. The public “professor of mischief” has plenty of private family drama and internal turmoil which still needs to be acknowledged.
The obvious part of this war is the “enemy inside (but on the outside)”, which includes all the treacherous institutions and their turncoat collaborators. Justice is coming, and will happen whether you or I seek it or not. Those who insist on remaining asleep will get a rude awakening with the collapse of the financial system and (temporary) removal of their money and comforts. Meanwhile, the war for many of us rages at the friends and family level. We have been forced abandon the quest to change those who seek to stay the same, and to disconnect from the ungodly for our own sanity and protection. Those who broke our trust in our inner circle are our worst (external) enemies.
Yet that too is ultimately a distraction. Generational trauma has shaped us all, and we all have maladaptations to cope with it. What I am finding is that the foundation of this spiritual war is the identification and expulsion of those unwanted enemy spirits inside each of us. Call them demons if you want, but they are the objects of desire, succour, and veneration that do not serve the end goal of life itself. The deeper fight is completely internal (yet universal). We must accept there is a holy way and an unholy way; locate the path which is genuinely righteous, not merely superficially right; and to remain on it — while allowing ourselves to receive grace when we stray.
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