Excellent and insightful essay. Martin, you always hit me spot-on. I love the idea of Judases helping us develop the quality of "antifragile". In fact, it should be considered another virtue.
Much truth. There is a profound tension between the public and the private, because in a real sense there is no such dichotomy, and in a practical sense we can only act for ourselves individually. Forgiveness appears to give licence to the sins of others- but that is an illusion and misunderstanding. Genuine forgiveness frees the forgiver. That's all. Responsibility is the price we pay for our real power - everything else is mindgames.
One day, having been deeply betrayed, and after angrily confronting my betrayer, only to have him dismiss my protest of his injustice and walk away with, “Oh, grow up! You know how the game is played!” I was furious, thinking, “You can’t treat me like this! I’ll teach you!”
A half hour later I was still fuming and trying to think of ways to repay the injustice when a sharp gnawing pain began growing in my stomach. The moment this caught my attention, I heard that still, small Voice within assert, “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” I was instantly flooded with the realization that of all the people in the world least likely to be taught a lesson by me, my defiant betrayer was near the top of that list. My need was to simply sever the ties with him, because, as he had so boldly informed me, I did know he was unscrupulous, only I was so proud as to think he wouldn’t cheat me. And it suddenly occurred to me that the willingness of “the Lord” to take on my vengeance, i.e., my desire to teach him a lesson, when he’d already demonstrated his unwillingness to do so, was a great gift, saving me untold more frustration and grief. The thought, “I’m handing it off to You. If it’s yours, You take it and you teach him, in this life or the next,” and I felt a huge relief, the impossible burden of trying to “teach” an unteachable person, lifted from me. The pain in my stomach vanished immediately.
In the days that followed, each time I began to reprise the injustice, and the temptation to teach him a lesson, I was reminded of the words of the Voice and let go of my intention with gratitude for the release of my burden, accepting that it was now out of my hands.
Interestingly, and perhaps beside the point, two weeks later I received an unsolicited check in the mail from him, for the money out of which he had cheated me.
Excellent and insightful essay. Martin, you always hit me spot-on. I love the idea of Judases helping us develop the quality of "antifragile". In fact, it should be considered another virtue.
Much truth. There is a profound tension between the public and the private, because in a real sense there is no such dichotomy, and in a practical sense we can only act for ourselves individually. Forgiveness appears to give licence to the sins of others- but that is an illusion and misunderstanding. Genuine forgiveness frees the forgiver. That's all. Responsibility is the price we pay for our real power - everything else is mindgames.
Thank You Martin 🙏
One day, having been deeply betrayed, and after angrily confronting my betrayer, only to have him dismiss my protest of his injustice and walk away with, “Oh, grow up! You know how the game is played!” I was furious, thinking, “You can’t treat me like this! I’ll teach you!”
A half hour later I was still fuming and trying to think of ways to repay the injustice when a sharp gnawing pain began growing in my stomach. The moment this caught my attention, I heard that still, small Voice within assert, “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” I was instantly flooded with the realization that of all the people in the world least likely to be taught a lesson by me, my defiant betrayer was near the top of that list. My need was to simply sever the ties with him, because, as he had so boldly informed me, I did know he was unscrupulous, only I was so proud as to think he wouldn’t cheat me. And it suddenly occurred to me that the willingness of “the Lord” to take on my vengeance, i.e., my desire to teach him a lesson, when he’d already demonstrated his unwillingness to do so, was a great gift, saving me untold more frustration and grief. The thought, “I’m handing it off to You. If it’s yours, You take it and you teach him, in this life or the next,” and I felt a huge relief, the impossible burden of trying to “teach” an unteachable person, lifted from me. The pain in my stomach vanished immediately.
In the days that followed, each time I began to reprise the injustice, and the temptation to teach him a lesson, I was reminded of the words of the Voice and let go of my intention with gratitude for the release of my burden, accepting that it was now out of my hands.
Interestingly, and perhaps beside the point, two weeks later I received an unsolicited check in the mail from him, for the money out of which he had cheated me.
What a lovely story - thank you for sharing this gift.
Thank you again Matin. This is a true gift.