I get to speak from the experience of being a standard “wreck of a human”, complete with a litany of vices, misdeeds, and mistakes. It is neither a matter of celebration nor commiseration; it just is. If I have shifted focus to spiritual matters, that is because I have exhausted the search for resolution and reconciliation in the mind and the body. Problems of ends cannot be solved by better configuration of the means. My aim is to share my own learning journey, and to contextualise it in my previous work on tech/telecoms and the Great Awakening.
As I become more aware of the ultimate ends I am serving I am increasingly conscious of how you cannot serve two masters (and remains sane and satisfied). Questions of spirit and righteousness cannot be split apart from how we actually conduct our daily lives. Yet there is a price we are forced to pay in order to re-integrate ourselves and to heal. We have to abandon some of the treats and trappings of the mind and body, and put our energy into escaping the “slave matrix” of contracts and legalism. That generates fear of deprivation and destitution.
I have gone through a period of living in a “posh squat” in London, loss of my traditional career, and ostracism by friends and family. At no point have I had to miss a meal or lacked a roof over my head, which is a blessing. There may be physical and social hardships to come, but they are now framed differently. A period of going without — let’s call it “chastity and sobriety but for everything” — is no longer the setback it was. Instead, I am gaining a freedom I previously lacked, as I am not yoked to my desires. The greatest freedom is no longer to compare yourself to others and their “success”, only to your best self.
I will be doing a livestream on the Betrayal Of A Legend Telegram channel today with Alexander RaSOL at 4pm London time on topics of an eternal nature. The recording will be posted to YouTube afterwards.
Not starving, only fasting